


perfect places // cheap perfume and heartbreak

by nikeforova



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Slow Burn, Trans Yuri Plisetsky, and the timeline is very open to interpretation too, burnout and coping methods, but it starts when yuri is 19 okay, this fic is very open to interpretation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 09:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12056214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikeforova/pseuds/nikeforova
Summary: yuri plisetsky is fabulous on the ice, but off the ice he's completely and utterly lost.he's coming home with lipstick on his neck every night, off to another club.he's 19 and on fire.timespan is one, two, or three years depending on how you want to look at it.lapslock.perfect places by lorde





	perfect places // cheap perfume and heartbreak

//Every night, I live and die  
Feel the party to my bones  
Watch the wasters blow the speakers  
Spill my guts beneath the outdoor light  
It's just another graceless night  
I hate the headlines and the weather  
I'm 19 and I'm on fire  
But when we're dancing I'm alright  
It's just another graceless night//

yuri spends his heart on his skating. he pours everything into it, and realizes it isn’t working. it’s solving none of his problems. the skating world doesn’t know what goes on behind closed doors, he’s becoming a legend. is this a thing, are all legends this lonely? yuri starts thinking the price of immortality is too high. he hugs otabek just hard enough to let him know he can’t let him go right now. smiles loud enough that he finds he’s starting to become viktor, and both of them know it. 

every win he makes is graceless, empty, another crash, just like his head as he loses himself in work. yuri comes to the rink with lipstick prints still on his neck. viktor approaches him, lets him crash on his and yuuri’s couch when he needs it, when he drinks too much, cries too hard. yuri is starting to wonder whether he needs his heart anymore, throws it away, and beka hands it back to him every single time. 

yuri realizes that alcohol and then ibuprofen aren’t going to save him, but he can’t do anything about it. yuuri and viktor and yakov and mila beka are the ones who hold his hair while he spills his guts into the toilet. yakov screams. the rink goes silent. mila leaves that day, violently slamming her skates into her bag as she runs out.

//Are you lost enough?  
Have another drink, get lost in us  
This is how we get notorious, oh  
'Cause I don't know  
If they keep tellin' me where to go  
I'll blow my brains out to the radio, oh//

yuri announces his theme. his theme is beauty.

yuri smells like expensive perfume and heartbreak. what heartbreak, otabek doesn’t know, but yuri’s definitely lost something. yuri is a beautiful, stunning disaster that nobody can look away from. his eyes are still crystal green, and he skates as fiercely as ever. he’s still entrancing every day, although nobody knows how. he still cries into viktor’s shoulder, too tired to even say something he would have said. he asks mila to braid his hair, and she notes that the lost soul doesn’t know where to start saving himself. she finishes his braids, and he whispers “mila, i don’t know what i’m looking for. help me?” 

and mila accidentally tugs hard on his hair, because if she hasn’t let yuri know that she’ll help, (of course she'll help), she’s done something wrong. 

//All of the things we're taking  
'Cause we are young and we're ashamed  
Send us to perfect places  
All of our heroes fading  
Now I can't stand to be alone  
Let's go to perfect places//

yuri pulls himself off of the couch at twelve. he can hear viktor in the kitchen, writing in his journal. tiptoeing into the kitchen, yuri sees his idol falling before his eyes. viktor. why is viktor crying? viktor should be happy. he tentatively takes a step, holds viktor in his arms, a silent question. asks why.

viktor speaks into the silence like it’s his last hope. 

“throwing yourself into people to find whatever you’re looking for is leading you into dead ends. you’re losing yourself exactly like i did.”

yuri tenses. 

“in the press conferences? it's fucking awful. ”

viktor freezes.  
yuri continues, voice getting quieter as he realizes what he said.

“i’m burning out. i can’t work any harder, i can’t do any more. my heart can’t stretch any more.”

viktor gathers yuri in his arms, and viktor whispers a prayer to somebody, anybody above for yuri to take a break. he can’t watch his family suffer like this.

yuri falls asleep in viktor’s arms.

viktor calls yakov as soon as he can.

//Every night, I live and die  
Meet somebody, take 'em home  
Let's kiss and then take off our clothes  
It's just another graceless night//

yuri talks to yakov.  
yakov shouts, tells yuri that he’s fought and will fight for him again. yuri asks viktor and yuuri to help him clean his apartment. he still parties, still has bad nights, but he’s finding his way again.  
he talks to otabek for hours, talking about what he’s missed, about how he feels. otabek listens, nods, talks to yuri. shows him pictures of his cat back home.  
otabek deletes instagram from his phone when yuri has his back turned. yuri notices, but pretends he hasn’t seen it. otabek usually knows what’s good for him.  
yuri still doesn’t know what he’s looking for, but now he knows he’ll find it.

he competes again, coming in first. with viktor gone, nobody stands a chance. half a year later, he gets instagram again.

viktor helps him set up the comment filters.  
yuuri tells viktor to hush when viktor starts teasing, and makka bounds in and slobbers all over yuri.  
yuri feels more okay than he has in ages.  
otabek calls later that day to see how everything is, and yuri laughs and tells him they need to talk.

 

//All of the things we're taking  
'Cause we are young and we're ashamed  
Send us to perfect places  
All of our heroes fading  
Now I can't stand to be alone  
Let's go to perfect places//

yuri and otabek walk, the hallway silent with only their footsteps breaking it. yuri silently slips his hand into otabek’s, and they keep walking. otabek smiles to himself, and yuri does too. 

viktor knocks on 2104 the next day and yuri doesn’t answer. viktor smiles, too. he texts yuuri, and down the hall, yuuri smiles.

otabek and yuri hold hands when they join viktor and mila and yuuri in the lobby, and mila realizes that this is what yuri’s been looking for. exactly what, she doesn’t know, but the answer is yuri. always has been. 

otabek and yuri hold hands when they’re alone.

otabek and yuri hold hands when they need to.

otabek doesn’t have to watch yuri crash and burn anymore. yuri doesn’t have to either. they hold hands because they’re still young and in love.

 

//All the nights spent off our faces  
Trying to find these perfect places  
What the fuck are perfect places anyway?  
All the nights spent off our faces  
Trying to find these perfect places  
What the fuck are perfect places anyway?  
All the nights spent off our faces  
Trying to find these perfect places  
What the fuck are perfect places anyway?//

yuri’s theme is acceptance. otabek’s theme is love.

at the press conferences, yuri calls otabek beka. otabek calls yuri yura.  
yakov smiles. viktor and yuuri and mila and georgi and phichit all smile.

yuri’s definitely found what he was looking for.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhh ok! fin ;//


End file.
